The Worst Movies of 2016 So Far

1.  Norm of the North

Shitty CG-animated movies are on a different level than your average shitty movie. At least when you’re watching a bad live-action movie, something real, authentic and/or beautiful can make its way onto the frame, directly or not. There could be a gorgeous tree caught in the background, or a lovingly-made cottage used as the set or a perfectly-placed sunset caught by the filmmakers on accident. These are all liberties made available by reality. But even hand-drawn animation, while certainly not infallible to terribleness, can be etched with craftsmanship of its own. Terrible CG-animated movies, however, are worse than anything other bad film on this planet. They afford the rare distinction of being completely, entirely, head-to-toe awful, with nothing redeemable or visually appealing to offer. That’s what brings us to Norm of the North.

There’s nothing good in Norm of the North. There’s nothing to suggest its existence is warranted, let alone deserving of its own theatrical release in thousands of theaters across the country. Retrograde, lazy, ugly as sin and entirely ill-conceived from head-to-toe, it’s a shameless exercise in futility, a film that doesn’t offer a single second of goodness to its audience, young or old. Its animation is amusingly dated at first, but after a while, it’s hard not to feel bad for all the money, effort and hours to took to bring this story of a twerking polar bear in New York City to life. I, of course, use the term “life” loosely. It’s an absolute sellout, an empty vessel with no love or creativity infused inside.

Heavily stealing from the Madagascar, Despicable Me and Happy Feet movies, then slamming them together viciously and heartlessly, it’s exactly the kind of film that deserves to be shipped direct-toDVD and never seen again. That’s because it’s the first theatrical release from Splash Entertainment, one of those companies behind those shameless knock-offs capitalizing on Pixar and DreamWorks Animation’s success. It’s only appropriate, then, that Norm of the North not only live in the shadow of its betters, but fail in every conceivable way to be on the same playing field. This is a truly terrible film, in every imaginable way. There’s nothing about it worth seeing. It doesn’t just leave you cold, it leaves you soulless.